| you will come crashing down |
[22 Sep 2008|07:30am] |
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august burns red |
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i think about texas on a daily basis and im sure its something that annoys the shit out of everyone i ever talk to.
there's been a huge hole in my life since i left, and it has little to nothing to do with Seanzy. in fact, i am glad his band isn't coming here because the more i thought about it, the more i DID NOT want to see him at all, or maybe even ever again really. i missed out on alot of shit when i was there because of him. no zoo, no pandas, no six flags, no feeling of being wanted until after i left. i realized that most of the people i met there hated him, particularly the girls i met...so they didnt take too much time to get to know me cuz i was attached to him. i regret not getting to know them, but i am so so glad everytime i get a text message from them saying how much they miss me.
i miss amber a ton
she was one of the first people i met there and she was so so so nice. i remember talking to her alot on the phone before i came down. but after i was gone, she said she was afraid to get to close to me cuz she knew sean was going to throw me away. she's a doll, and had to go through the same experience with her boyfriend that i did with Cho. i wish things could be alright for her :(
i miss justin and ali
i got to hang out with justin quite a bit cuz he was the drummer of seanzy's band, but i only got to meet ali twice. i didnt think she liked me at all, but turns out she wanted to get to know me so bad. we talk almost daily about how we need to find a way to meet up again and actually hang out this time. she wants me to go down to the florida keys with her & justin during spring break [as thats where she will be going to school], and im strongly strongly considering it.
i miss logan
he took me into his home and showed me the best time. while i was there, he was the one that showed me the most appreciation and expressed the most sadness in the idea that i was leaving. he was the first one to tell me how much he wished i could have stayed another day or two. he could be one of my best friends ever if i lived there.
i miss will so so so much
but what does it matter cuz i dont think the feelings mutual anyway. i wish their stupid band coulda came here so i could have what i assume would be one last sleepover with my favorite mexican.
since ive gotten back, i'd say i get at least one friend request on myspace from someone from texas everyday. it hurts my heart because every one of them is wonderful to me.
i know when i get the chance to go back, i plan on spending time with everyone of the aforementioned kids, as well as my new friends:
Kyle
Shane ♥
and of course, my stickam lovers
daemon
& jacob
i need texas. give me a reason not to. :(
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[22 Apr 2008|04:05am] |
shawn moved here one month less two days ago. we dated, and went through alot of shit in such short amount of time.
i told him i loved him and i meant it.
he broke up with me on friday and ive never been more miserable in my life, all for his ex girlfriend who cheated on him a million times and lies to him and treats him like shit, only to have her prolly do it again when/if he goes home.
i have spent close to $1000 on this boy.
i have compromised my sexuality for this boy, tho i am still a virgin.
i have opened my heart and home to a stranger who i fell in love with.
i more or less did things that compromised my status as an edge kid for this boy.
i stopped eating and i stopped sleeping.
i have done anything and everything for him and this is how it turns out?
i would continue to do random non-kayleigh type shit for him because i seroiusly do love him.
and im willing to do anything to keep him here and make him mine again.
i even stopped paying attention to brian morgante for him, cuz i dont want anyone else.
i keep spilling my heart out to him. ive never tried for anything in my life, and im trying so fucking hard for this. im not going to give up until i have him. and if he leaves, im going to be devastated. i wont be able to walk around my house knowing he's not here.
im going to die without him. im killing myself for this boy.
[Edit] and I forgot to mention....he lives with me, so I have to deal with this every fucking day. :(
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| +friends only+ |
[18 Jul 2005|10:09pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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::all hail the heartbreaker:: the spill canvas |
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sprouts
♥
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